Understand, how to find your calling in life- this is the goal of every person.
If you are able to do this, you will live a happy and contented life.
Some people found their calling earlier than others; and they are the lucky ones because they know exactly what to do with their lives.
For the rest of us, it can be difficult to find it (and sometimes almost impossible) to understand ourselves, especially in this ever-changing modern world.
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Every person has a calling in life. According to explanatory dictionaries, it is defined as “a strong internal impulse towards a certain course of action, especially when accompanied by a conviction of Divine influence.”
In other words, you strongly want to do something and at the same time are convinced that this is what you should do. A person’s calling is unique and original; it is in alliance with your personality traits and talents.
Throughout your life, your calling has popped up again and again, sometimes in obscure things, goals or areas that you have ignored. When you were “in” your calling, you had a deep sense of peace and an overwhelming sense of personal satisfaction.
2 opinions on finding a person’s calling
There are two schools of thought when it comes to finding your calling in life:
1. “A calling is a response to a need.”
Look around you and you will see a world that needs you. Can you help those in need? Great. This belief states that if you see a way to help someone, that is your calling. If there is something good that you can do, then you simply must do it.
2. “A calling is following your passion.”
Your heart knows what you were created for. You can trust your heart. As soon as you feel excitement and interest in something, you respond to it and take the “right path”.
Howard Thurman once said, “Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you “alive” and then go and do it. Because the world needs people to “live.”
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Unfortunately, both of these opinions are tragically wrong.
The first leads to a dispassionate existence in which you are haunted only by obligations.
The second is equally dangerous, since you can wander aimlessly from one “thrill” sensation and search for adventure to another, without taking any action.
Practical solution
It involves a thoughtful combination of your own skills needed by the world and your own desire.
- Firstly, identify your core skills. What do people constantly thank you for? What skills are valued and recognized for?
- Secondly, look at the needs that surround you. For example, if you're an entrepreneur, this might mean finding "your" market before creating your product.
- Third, think about what you love to do. What really interests you in life.
Now put it all together. The intersection of your skills, the needs of others, and what you love is a good starting point to begin exploring your calling. If you know how to do something and love to do it, and, moreover, the world needs it - isn’t this your destiny?!
If the answer to all the above questions is yes and you feel peace in your heart, then you are in the right place.
Like many things in life, finding your calling is something of a paradox.
After all, a person's calling is a mixture of passion, skill and response to the needs of the world. You can either accept it or ignore it.
5 questions to help
If you want to know which path to take or how to find your calling in life, the answers to the following questions can help you with this.
1. What are your talents?
Finding out what you're good at - your natural talents, abilities and strengths - can greatly help you find your purpose.
2. What suits your personality?
Exploring your personality will help you determine where you will thrive best, where you will be happiest and most productive.
3. What is important to you?
Most of us would like to be significant, to leave a mark, to be remembered for something.
What cares you most in this world? What areas of life have significance and meaning for you?
4. What are the most memorable moments in your life?
Often our lives are shaped by unforgettable, extraordinary or unforeseen experiences that make us who we are today.
They can be the happiest, saddest or most puzzling moments in our lives. What moments would you like to relive? What do you want to forget? Find and follow whatever makes you happy.
5. What are your life dreams?
Don't limit yourself and your dreams to today. What you constantly dream about is not in vain. These are real, honest indications of your calling, your deepest desires. Let these dreams inspire you and lead you in the right direction.
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Each of us has hundreds of "callings" in our lives - some big and some small. Instead of having one “life purpose,” we actually have many more opportunities to experience much of what life brings to us.
Spend a few minutes thinking about your calling. It could be something obvious in your life, work, hobby, or it could be disguised as something else.
Understanding how to find your calling in life is a process. Don't get discouraged if it doesn't go away easily. Just keep your heart and mind open, and remember that you can always find your purpose in life if you really want it.
A feeling of confusion can arise both at 20 and at 50. At one point you suddenly understand - I can’t go on like this. We know how much support there is during this difficult period, so we have compiled a selection of tips from the best books on self-development. Find out how to find your calling and take the first step towards your life's work.
Don't look for a calling
The search for a calling can begin... by giving up the idea of finding a life's work! Don't spend years soul-searching and searching for one right answer - a real calling encoded somewhere in the depths of your mind. Otherwise, you risk getting lost in this maze for a long time.
To take the first step, you don’t need to know exactly “it or not it.” The first step is simply to get closer to something, something interesting to you. Elena Rezanova, author of Never Ever, calls this active approximation. Go to study, try something, learn more about something, go beyond your usual environment, join interesting professional parties.
You don't need to make a big decision to do this. There's no need to throw anything away. And you don’t need to choose just one direction.
Get out of "never" mode
Once upon a time there lived a boy who dreamed of becoming an astronaut (director, stuntman, doctor, captain...), graduated from school, entered university, found a decent job... and nothing else interesting happened to him. Sad tale, isn't it?
Don't put off your dreams.
But at any stage of postponement, we can decide to stop this scenario.
Look around
The dreams of overworked people are often similar: travel, hermitage, laptops under palm trees... These pictures are in the air, and we pick them up like a virus. We are trying to look for ourselves away from the place where we lost.
But to change your life, you don’t have to go to distant places. Look around. Where in your field are the most decisions made? What haven't you tried? Why did you ever choose this business?
Expand your interests
It happens when you absolutely don’t like the job and you need to start looking for other options. But what if you have no interests and don’t know what you want? In this case, you will have to be a researcher and discoverer.
Do some research: what else happens? At least once a week, immerse yourself in a new topic: listen to various lectures on the Internet, go to trainings and master classes, look through information. Start with some educational sites. Try everything, because you don’t yet know which area might interest you. At this stage, you don’t need to choose your life’s work. Your task is to emerge from the professional tunnel and broaden your horizons as much as possible.
Exploration will take from three months to a year. Of course, you want changes right now, but you will have to wait a little. Once you have a list of alternative activities, you can choose what really interests you.
Remember your childhood
In the first years of your life, your true nature manifested itself especially clearly and directly, El Luna, the author of the book “Between I Need and I Want,” is sure. Try to remember what you were like as a child: a dreamer or a pragmatist, a loner or the life of the party? How did you spend your holidays? What did you want to be when you grew up?
Talk to one of your relatives, look through old photo albums - perhaps you will discover some important, long-forgotten information about your self. At an early age, we dreamed without regard to fashion, someone else's bad experience or financial situation.
In children's plans, not yet subject to “censorship,” there is something that we so lack in reality: a clear, sincere desire to do something.
In this way, we can discern the original impulse of our calling in the past and apply this knowledge in the present.
Start with any small action
One guy decided to overcome the “paralysis of action” and began to thoroughly brush his teeth in the mornings and evenings, says the author of the duology “100 Ways to Change Your Life” Larisa Parfentyeva. By the time he made this decision, his life had already reached rock bottom: a destroyed business and a destroyed family.
Books can also help overcome action paralysis.
Do exercises, meditate, read books in the morning, or at least make your bed. One small disciplined action can change everything.
Do the exercise from Barbara Sher
It would seem that we should all know what we have talent for. But that's not true. Remember how many times you reveled in or admired: a giraffe, a scarlet color, a big car, a fresh wind - and noticed that those around you did not share your impulse? Not surprising. Everything that makes us happy indicates hidden talent.
What do you love - matching colors, playing with dogs, learning new cultures? You don't have to become a designer, dog breeder or ethnologist. But when you understand what attracts you to these professions, it will be easier to find something you like.
Take a notebook and do the exercise from Barbara Sher from the book “It’s About Time!” .
1. Look back over three stages of your life: childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. Write down everything you liked: petting the cat, listening to fairy tales, the feeling of freedom.
3. Now look through the notes and write down everything that catches your eye. You will soon see that everything you have ever loved, everything you have ever been drawn to, has a very strong personal motive behind it.
What is this all for? Believe me, fulfilling a dream heals the soul much more successfully than analyzing it.
Choose a partner
Don't grab a rag and sort things out. You don’t have to spend your whole weekend doing spring cleaning. Just go to your desk and put all your important documents away in a safe place: passport, driver's license, tax return. If there are old magazines and drafts on the table, throw them away or let them continue to lie in the same place. Don't try to organize photos or books. You can put them in a box. It doesn't matter whether they are in albums or on shelves - you always know where to find them. Commit to yourself to throw away 10 items every month. Soon you will feel that your home has become brighter and more spacious, and you have more free time.
Apollinaria Batyushkina, expert on meditation and esotericism
Our expert on meditation and esotericism, Apollinaria Batyushkina, has prepared an audio meditation journey for you, with the help of which you can come closer to understanding your purpose. Find out where to start on your journey to yourself!
A man died, went to Paradise and asked the angel:
-What was the meaning of my life?
- Do you remember how you were on the train, went into the restaurant car, and the woman at the next table asked you to pass the salt?
- I think I remember.
- Did you pass it on?
- Yes.
- Well, here we go.
Yes, life sometimes seems meaningless and merciless. Some are destined to do great things, while others sit in the office, shuffling papers, and sincerely do not understand why they live at all. Of course, everyone wants to achieve something truly significant in life, and not be content with the metaphorical transfer of a salt shaker. Not everyone is aware of their purpose, individuality, and uniqueness. He doesn’t understand how to fill his life with real meaning.
But it's never too late to embark on a journey towards your true Self, to understanding what you really want. How to find your calling? Meditation will be a great help on this journey!
What prevents us from finding our calling?
From childhood we are told how to live, what is good and what is bad. Moreover, this “good and bad” turns out to be very subjective value judgments. Usually parents “know” what their child should be like for them to be proud of him. Alas, this “knowledge” most often does not coincide with the child’s desires. And instead of helping the child find himself, parents do everything to make him move in the wrong direction. They project their ideas of an ideal life onto him, so he studies without pleasure - just to be praised. And he goes to college, not always understanding why he needs this particular specialty. And then a boring life begins according to a script pre-prescribed by parents and society, and it seems that it is impossible to break out of the vicious circle. We only ask ourselves the question “how to find our calling?” and live in a constant routine.
But it's never too late to wake up and start living consciously. Even if you are already retired.
Of course, it’s scary to go beyond the usual paradigm. However, if you really want to be happy, to cleanse yourself of the husks of public opinion and false beliefs, then you simply need to change. Here you must immediately understand that you will almost inevitably face the condemnation of others and this should not scare you. Gradually, your social circle will change dramatically, all unnecessary people will fade into the background or stop communicating with you altogether. But like-minded people will definitely appear who will motivate you, pull you up, not down.
Do you want to learn useful practices, draw up your natal chart and find out the future? Then watch our free webinar and get answers to the most important questions. Register and we will send you a link to the webinar
Where to start on the path to yourself
In my opinion, the fastest and gentlest way to find yourself and transform your life is meditation. When you are in meditation, your brain goes into an altered state of purity and peace, and begins to work at completely different frequencies. And it is in this state that you begin to hear yourself, your true desires. And you can see the path of your soul and its purpose. You may receive important information about yourself, interesting and unexpected ideas that can change not only your life, but also the lives of other people. And most importantly, you find the answer to the question “how to find your calling.”
In your current incarnation, your soul does not always need to achieve incredible career heights, money and fame.
Perhaps she was born now to take a break from the vicissitudes of past lives and find fulfillment in the comfort of family. Or maybe its purpose is to broadcast works of art into this world, or simply help people through charity. Or great achievements, wealth and glory await your soul. Moreover, it may be that a cozy family life will be harmoniously combined with this very fame and career in conjunction with creativity. Why not? If they tell you that you have to choose one thing in life, don’t believe it! Trust only your inner voice and follow your intuition! Don't be afraid to experiment! Don't be afraid to listen to yourself.
Life calling is primarily associated with the choice of profession. But we are talking about a profession that will become the basis and meaning of life. To become a good specialist, you need not just to acquire professional knowledge, skills and abilities, but to feel the harmony of your personal “I” and professional “I”. We will talk about how to achieve this.
The ideal activity corresponds to, interests, and. Under this condition, the person is satisfied with himself and his work.
Job satisfaction criteria:
- time passes unnoticed, Mondays don’t seem like hard days;
- every day is perceived as new opportunities, and not as another torment;
- you don’t feel tired; on the contrary, your energy level increases;
- you enjoy going to work;
- they come to you for professional advice.
So what is a calling? This is what you want and can do, get paid for it, and make a tangible contribution to society. Although financial benefits do not always bring the desired results. But if we are talking about a profession, then over time this can really be achieved.
What prevents you from finding a calling?
Some people don't even begin to look for their calling. They are stopped by self-doubt, public,.
It’s rare that someone manages to find their path the first time. More often, people take “their” place in adulthood. But to find this place, you need to try yourself in different professions and fields. This is where many stop: leaving the usual, trying something new, deviating from the usual is scary.
The situation gets worse if society puts pressure on a person. This happens when there is a desire to exchange a stable job in an office for unstable self-employment, the realization of one’s dreams, and the revelation of personal potential. Some say that this is not serious, others say that you need to feed your family, children, and pay off your mortgage. And sometimes this really happens. Not everyone can take risks, give up everything and go nowhere. But some people are only held back by their “demons” of consciousness. There are no loans, no wives, but fear turns out to be stronger than the desire to try oneself in a new direction.
Another obstacle is comparing yourself to others. You should never rely on someone else's success or failure. You are not this person. You have different experience, habits, knowledge, abilities. In some ways you are worse and in some ways better than other people, because you are basically a different person. In any case, you can only compare yourself with yourself.
Well, the last thing that often prevents a person from finding himself in life is the expectation of quick results, the inability to experience failures, weak, insufficient determination. Any business requires time to master, even if you have the appropriate inclinations and inclinations for this type of activity. After all, it is the result of hard work.
In many cases, the result is delayed. At first, the effort involved far outweighs the results. But it is important to remember the future and adequately evaluate the results at the moment.
How to find a calling
To determine your vocation, I suggest using two interrelated exercises. There are many methods that allow you to get to know yourself better and decide on a profession, but these, in my opinion, are the most effective, concise and multifunctional.
Self-portrait
Conduct a written analysis, search for common ground of interests, skills, abilities, character. How to do it:
- write down 20 striking traits of your character, strengths;
- write down 20 things you love to do;
- write down 20 points of what you can do or what you can learn if you wish.
Analyze the results, write down several professions in which you can try yourself. For example, you love to be the center of attention, you have a loud voice, and you know how to attract and win over people. Perhaps you should take a vocal course and try yourself in this area. They say that anyone can be taught to sing. But not all people are endowed with a strong voice.
Portrait of a profession
Describe in detail your preferred employment: schedule, working hours, weekends, responsibilities. The more points you write, the better. It is important to know not only your own characteristics, but also to know what exactly you are looking for, what kind of job you dream of. Don’t forget to ask yourself questions: “Why do I need this job?”, “What do I want and can give to society?”
See if there are any overlapping positions in the results of the first and second tasks. If in doubt, contact someone you trust. The more independent experts you involve, the better.
Afterword
A calling is a message, an idea that you bring to the world. This is your task, the desire to change something in society. Think about how you can help this world, how you can and want to improve it.
Think about whether there is something you are willing to do even for free. Is there something you can’t imagine yourself without? Do it in any condition, at any time. Look for your calling in this area.
“There is one thing that most people do not know: happiness is possible only when you realize yourself as a person, when you realize your calling, your nature. If you stick to something, some familiar place, stability - there will be stability. But there will never be satisfaction. Internally, you need to weigh what you want: external stability or to be a happy person,” Oleg Gadetsky, psychologist.
If you're still unsure about whether your job is right for you or whether it matches your calling, the five studies below can help you get to the bottom of your concerns.
There is a difference between harmonious and obsessive infatuation
If you manage to find a job that you really like, your chances of success increase many times over. But, as was written in a study by Canadian psychologist Robert Vallerand and his colleagues, here it is worth drawing the line between harmonious passion for one’s work and obsession. If your self-esteem and mood depend on your work, if failure at work means failure in your entire life, then most likely we are talking about passion, bordering on obsession. This attitude towards work can both give additional strength and enthusiasm, and lead to burnout and increased anxiety. If you feel that you are able to control your passion for work, if work allows you to show those qualities that you like about yourself, if there is another, no less important and valuable life outside your career, then work will have a positive effect on your psychological state . And this, in turn, improves your personal effectiveness, stress resistance and mood.
Having a calling and not realizing it is worse than not having a calling at all.
Don't ignore the goals and ambitions that you would like to achieve. Several years ago, researchers from the University of South Florida surveyed several hundred people and divided them into the following groups: those who, as they thought, had no calling; those who had a calling that they realized; and those who had a calling, but did not realize it. In terms of work engagement, career success, life satisfaction, health, and stress tolerance, those who had an unfulfilled calling had the lowest scores. The study's authors question the benefits of having a calling per se. They write: “Having a calling is a plus only when it is realized. If there is a calling, but a person does nothing to realize it, it will only do harm.”
Persistence plus passion equals success.
You may have heard that persistence is a key component to career success. Psychologist Angela Duckworth describes it this way: “To succeed is to fall seven times and get up eight.” Other studies show that to be successful you need to be disciplined, conscientious and hardworking. But are these qualities really associated with persistence? Duckworth always emphasized that along with perseverance, you need to have passion, dedication to what you do.
Based on John Yakimovich's research, passion for work, along with perseverance, does influence how successful a person will be. By perseverance, the author understands not only the ability to continue to act, despite failures, but also the stability of interests, the ability to do one thing for months and years.
Your passion for work grows when you put in the effort.
It is very interesting to read about how useful it is to have a calling, to be involved and passionate about your work, but what about those who have not found themselves? “It is a common mistake to assume that you will one day have an epiphany and to look forward to that moment,” Duckworth writes. It is necessary to act: get involved in different activities, try yourself in different qualities, set yourself difficult tasks. Generating ideas without taking any active action is a very dubious strategy. It seems to us that energy and determination come when we have found our business. However, it can also be the other way around: first you begin to act, investing energy and enthusiasm in your business, and then you realize that that same passion for your work has come to you. This pattern is confirmed by an eight-week observation of German entrepreneurs. It turned out that passion for deals increased when they put more effort into those deals. A follow-up study found that entrepreneurs put the most effort into achieving a goal when they chose the project themselves and when there was a sense of progress.
If you think passion comes from doing work you enjoy, you will be disappointed.
Where do you think passion for what you do comes from? John Yakimovich, in his latest research, says that the greatest engagement occurs not when a person does what he loves, but when he does what he believes in, something that aligns with his values. Yakimovich's research shows that people who believe that passion comes from doing something that they enjoy are less likely to be passionate about their work than those who believe that passion comes from doing something meaningful and valuable to you. . “Do only what you like” is a very tempting idea of neo-positive psychology. However, it does not always confirm its effectiveness in practice: true passion for one’s work, which can last for a long time, comes when the work corresponds to a person’s beliefs and values.
Original article: Christian Jarrett, - How To Find Your Calling, According to Psychology. The British Psychological Society Research Digest, November 2018
Translation: Eliseeva Margarita Igorevna
Editor: Simonov Vyacheslav Mikhailovich
Key words: psychology, psychologist, vocation, career, business, profession, professional growth
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